Monday, September 8, 2008

A Feminist Bridal Shower?


So my mother has been helping to coordinate my shower (yes, I know *gasp*), but mainly it's the travel arrangements. We've been trying to come up with a date that works for my cousin (who's supposedly throwing the shower), my sister (my MOH who works an ungodly number of hours each week), my FMIL (who's pretty active with her church and community), and me (who happens to live a thousand miles away from all of these people).

Anyway....

I thought with all the talk about showers going on, I'd post this little tidbit I found on feministing.com (if you don't already go there as your morning wake-me-up along with your coffee, you should). The author talks about her attempts to find shower games that aren't quite as blatantly sexist as this one:

Everyone is asked to share the chores around the house that they hate the most and the reason why they hate the chore.

The chore is then replaced with the word "sex" and reread aloud. They then end up with . . . "I hate sex because (the reason they hate their chore)"

(You know - because all women simply must hate sex ::eyeroll::)

She's right, of course. Think of all of the bridal showers you've been to. Now think of the games. Games like "What's in the Bag?" where guests are supposed to write down all of the items they think might be in the bride's purse and get points for guessing correctly - because, of course, we all know that women simply live out of their cavernous purses (note: I didn't even OWN a purse, let alone carry one until I broke down and bought a Coach bag to carry my laptop); or the Apron Game, where guests are supposed to pin cooking utensils all over the bride and then recite them from memory, because, of course, women are the cooks in the family (nevermind the fact that I can burn water, while FI is generally a decent chef when he finds the time).

You know what I'd really love? A shower game that deals with MY interests - not the interests of some stereotypical (I might even say mythical) bride-to-be. Like instead of bridal bingo, let's play women's rights bingo.

Anyway...so now I'm ever so slightly terrified that I'll be subjected to some horribly sexist game at the shower, and then I'll just have to say something (because that's just who I am), which will put a damper on the whole "fun" part of the shower.... And, yeah, yeah, I know I should be grateful that someone is throwing us a shower. And I am, really, I am. But is it too much to ask that the sexism be toned down as much as possible?

Thoughts? Suggestions?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good luck! I found your post when I was having a similar dilemma... what non-sexist thing to get the bride for the bridal shower. After reading your post and re-examining my situation, I say use the situation as a forum for rallying women together to change the way we think about sexist traditions. I'm just going to give my cousin some cash.

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Wenni Donna said...

I too have faced such moments a few times but I’ve learned to laugh it off. I don’t want to risk ruining a good moment by reacting. Have been helping out the family to arrange my sister’s wedding. It is scheduled for next month at one of the beautiful venues in Chicago. The bridal shower is tomorrow so let’s see if there will be any games like you’ve mentioned or not.

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