STDs!!!!

No, not STI's, silly. Get your mind out of the gutter! ;)

S - T- D s (Save-the-Dates).

FI and I had a little quality bonding time this weekend (translation: I let him watch yet another Simpson's episode in exchange for some Photoshop help) so we were able to buckle down and get our STDs designed and submitted to Vista Print for printing. We ordered 100 glossy oversized postcards with envelopes for $17. Not too shabby. :)

No idea why the colors are all weird (it's supposed to be grayscale with lime green wording on the front, and a black and white back), but whatcha think?

UPDATE: Why I will NEVER vote for Palin

Remember the controversy I pointed out at the end of this post regarding Sarah Palin and rape kits?

This is what I said then:

"Palin failed to address the fact that sexual assault victims in Wasilla were charged $300 to $1200 apiece for collection of evidence in their cases (i.e. rape kits). NOTE: Palin did not institute this policy; it was in place before her election. However, I am disheartened by the fact that during two terms as mayor she failed to address the policy. Thumbs down to Palin on this one."

Unfortunately, new evidence (i.e. the Wasilla annual budgets) has come to life, proving me wrong. A new article from the Huffington Post explains everything very well, and is even nice enough to provide you with links to Wasilla's budgets so you can do the math for yourself if you happen to be a doubter. Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jacob-alperinsheriff/sarah-palin-instituted-ra_b_125833.html

The gist of the article? The former police chief of Wasilla (the one Palin fired) had included a line item in his budget requests to cover the cost of exams for sexual assault victims. The police chief Palin appointed after firing the previous chief HALVED this budget request in 97-98, and then halved it again in 98-99 (that year he only spent $205 of the $3000 he requested). Palin either (a) had to have known about the change in policy requiring sexual assault victims to pay for their testing kits, because, as mayor, she had to approve the budget, or (b) had to have fallen behind in her mayoral duties, by not thoroughly investigating requested budgets.

Either way, this is disgusting. Again: NO WAY, NO HOW, NO to McCain / Palin!

Congratulations Brooke and Erik!

Yesterday I attended the wedding of fellow knottie and friend, Brooke, at the Lighthouse at Chelsea Piers in Manhattan.


Beautiful bride, beautiful wedding, and a super fun reception. :)

Congratulations, you two! Best wishes for many, many years of happiness. :)

Why this Feminist Bride Wants NOTHING to do with the McCain / Palin ticket

Disclaimer: Sorry Transatlantic Bride - I found your post so interesting that I decided I'd do one, too. ;)

And what better place to post my complaints about this year's republican ticket's failure to promote the interests of women than here?

Leaving aside the fact that I find this pick INCREDIBLY insulting (I'm sorry, but I don't vote based on the sex of the candidate - my vagina does not have a voting booth hidden inside, thank you very much), neither candidate seems to really be doing much - correction ANYTHING - to help women. For McCain, it's pretty easy to find flaws - his voting record is out their for the world to see. For an inexperienced first terms governor, it's a bit harder. Largely because she hasn't yet told us much of what she stands for.

And now, what you've been waiting for. A (brief) list of things McCain and/or Palin have done, or as the case may be, NOT done, to assist women and girls in the realization of their rights:

• McCain skipped the vote on the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. He later said that had he attended the vote, he would have voted against it because women "need education and training" rather than a bill that guarantees pay equity. [Source: http://tinyurl.com/6gufa3]
  
• McCain has repeatedly opposed comprehensive sex education and supported abstinence-only education. [Source: http://tinyurl.com/6oc6a7] For more info on why this is specifically anti-woman and anti-girls, please see Legal Momentum's recent report "Sex, Lies and Stereotypes: How Abstinence-Only Programs Harm Women and Girls," available at http://tinyurl.com/5e8xjq
• McCain voted to keep the Global Gag Rule, preventing millions of women around the world from receiving access to reproductive health care by denying funding to any organization that even MENTIONS abortion (note: these organizations do not have to perform or refer clients to abortion providers in order to be denied funding).[Boxer Amendment to S.600, vote 83, 4/05/05]
• Voted to de‐fund the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), an organization that provides family‐planning services – not abortion – for the world’s poorest women [Boxer amendment to FY’06‐07 Foreign Relations authorization bill, S.600, 4/5/05]
  
• Declined to help reduce the need for abortion and improve maternal health by opposing effort to require insurance coverage for prescription birth control, improve access to emergency contraception, and provide more women with prenatal health care[Murray motion to waive Budget Act to allow vote on Murray/Reid prevention‐package amendment to “Partial‐Birth” Abortion Ban Act, S.3, 3/11/03.]
  
• McCain has publicly and repeatedly stated that it is his goal to overturn Roe v. Wade
  
• McCain voted to maintain restrictions on access to abortion for women in the military, even if they use their own money [Murray/Snowe amendment to FY’04 National Defense authorization bill, S.1050, 5/22/03]
  
• McCain supported the Federal Abortion Ban, even though the law contains no exceptions for the health of pregnant women [“Partial‐Birth” Abortion Ban Act, H.R.1833, 12/7/95]
  
• McCain voted to restrict funding to Title X's Family Planning Program. [Motion to Invoke Cloture; Family Planning Amendments of 1989, S.110, 9/26/90]
• McCain voted NOT to amend the federal bankruptcy code to prevent people who commit violence against family planning clinics to avoid financial responsibility for their actions by filing bankruptcy [Bankruptcy Reform Act, H.R.2415, 12/7/00; Schumer amendment to Bankruptcy Reform Act, S.256, 3/8/05]
  
• McCain voted against an amendment that protected Medicaid funding (funding that is used to provide thousands of low-income women and girls with reproductive and other health services) from being cut [H.J.R. 2, Vote #21, 1/23/03]]
• McCain voted against requiring health insurance carriers to cover the cost of contraception. [Murray Amendment, S.Amdt 258 to S. 3, vote 45, 3/11/03]
• McCain opposed legislation that required that abstinence only education curricula be medically-accurate and scientifically-based. [Lautenberg/Menendez Teen Pregnancy Prevention Amendment, S.Amdt. 4689 to S. 403, vote 214, 7/25/06]
• McCain voted against the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Act (FACE), which established criminal and civil penalties for those who use force, threat of force, or physical obstruction to interfere with access to reproductive‐health facilities [Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Act, S.636, 5/12/94].
• Sarah Palin opposes abortion in all circumstances, save where the woman's life is in danger. She opposes abortion even in cases of danger to a woman's health, and in cases of rape or incest. [Source: http://tinyurl.com/5uptw8]
• Palin failed to address the fact that sexual assault victims in Wasilla were charged $300 to $1200 apiece for collection of evidence in their cases (i.e. rape kits). NOTE: Palin did not institute this policy; it was in place before her election. However, I am disheartened by the fact that during two terms as mayor she failed to address the policy. Thumbs down to Palin on this one.

If you'd like more information on McCain's anti-woman policies, you can read this fact sheet. It covers his vote on all things reproductive rights related (NOT just abortion-related) http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/assets/files/mccain_fact_sheet.pdf

Got something you think I should add to the wall o' shame? Leave a note and I'll do my best to fit it in. And stay tuned for the next episode of Confessions, where I reveal precisely how I think the Democratic ticket IS addressing women's issues.

A Feminist Bridal Shower?

So my mother has been helping to coordinate my shower (yes, I know *gasp*), but mainly it's the travel arrangements. We've been trying to come up with a date that works for my cousin (who's supposedly throwing the shower), my sister (my MOH who works an ungodly number of hours each week), my FMIL (who's pretty active with her church and community), and me (who happens to live a thousand miles away from all of these people).

Anyway....

I thought with all the talk about showers going on, I'd post this little tidbit I found on feministing.com (if you don't already go there as your morning wake-me-up along with your coffee, you should). The author talks about her attempts to find shower games that aren't quite as blatantly sexist as this one:

Everyone is asked to share the chores around the house that they hate the most and the reason why they hate the chore.

The chore is then replaced with the word "sex" and reread aloud. They then end up with . . . "I hate sex because (the reason they hate their chore)"

(You know - because all women simply must hate sex ::eyeroll::)

She's right, of course. Think of all of the bridal showers you've been to. Now think of the games. Games like "What's in the Bag?" where guests are supposed to write down all of the items they think might be in the bride's purse and get points for guessing correctly - because, of course, we all know that women simply live out of their cavernous purses (note: I didn't even OWN a purse, let alone carry one until I broke down and bought a Coach bag to carry my laptop); or the Apron Game, where guests are supposed to pin cooking utensils all over the bride and then recite them from memory, because, of course, women are the cooks in the family (nevermind the fact that I can burn water, while FI is generally a decent chef when he finds the time).

You know what I'd really love? A shower game that deals with MY interests - not the interests of some stereotypical (I might even say mythical) bride-to-be. Like instead of bridal bingo, let's play women's rights bingo.

Anyway...so now I'm ever so slightly terrified that I'll be subjected to some horribly sexist game at the shower, and then I'll just have to say something (because that's just who I am), which will put a damper on the whole "fun" part of the shower.... And, yeah, yeah, I know I should be grateful that someone is throwing us a shower. And I am, really, I am. But is it too much to ask that the sexism be toned down as much as possible?

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Wow...Apparently Going to the Gym Actually Works

I ran out of my personal training sessions at Equinox about a month ago, and haven't purchased anymore, largely because personal training is sooooo expensive and I'm currently still unemployed. Unfortunately, to be quite honest, without my personal trainer to force me to go to the gym I've been REALLY lax on face-time there. As in, I think I may have gone twice in the last month. :(

And then today I was looking through photos in Picassa, and came across these two: one taken when I first purchased my dress back in early April (before I started training) and one taken at the end of May (after about 12 sessions).

Who knew that spending 15 hours at the gym could cause such a radical difference in appearance? Just looking at these I can see a lot more toning in my arms and shoulders - the two big problem areas for this dress - and that was after only fifteen of the thirty sessions. Guess who's going to be forcing herself out the door to the gym three times a week as soon as she's healthy enough again...

I've Got Spots on the Brain

Given my current shingled condition, I suppose it's only natural that I'd start thinking about spots in general. And that thinking leads me to a more northernly part of my body - my face.

As a teenager, my skin was pretty flawless. I think I can count on one hand the number of blemishes I had before I turned 24. But then came the ravages of adult acne! ::insert appropriate horror movie scream here::

Since I hit my mid-twenties, I've been plagued by cystic acne on my chin and along my jawline, clogged pores in my T-zone, and a TON of whiteheads on my forehead (not to mention the lovely lines popping up around my eyes and the deep furrows I'm noticing above them).

Those OTC treatments haven't seemed to do anything (except maybe exacerbate the condition); I've heard great stories (and HORROR stories) about things like ProActiv so I'm really wary to try them; and the solutions offered by my general practitioner haven't really done anything to clear my visage. So what's a bride (or groom - 42.5% of men between 20 and 29 report experiencing acne) to do to make herself picture perfect on her wedding day, especially given the prevalence of unforgiving HD videography?

With only six months to go until the big day, I've decided that some professional help is in order. I have an appointment with a dermatologist set for Wednesday, and hopefully he'll be able to offer some solutions to get my skin in tip-top shape by March - although anytime before then would be great for me, too. ;)

But I thought these were just mosquito bites....

Hello loyal readers, and welcome to Day 2 of my medical misery.

*grumble*

So, as I'm sure you've read below, I was pretty productive during my bar trip, cutting out all of my pocketfolds, and gluing more than half of them. FI and I and the FILS (hurray for acronyms!) took a week and went down to Holden Beach in North Carolina. Overall the trip was great - sun, sand, ocean, jellyfish (okay, so the jellyfish weren't all that great), but it was nice to get away from the city for awhile. I spent the week building drip castles, frollicking in the ocean, working on the invites, and watching our soon-to-be awesome President and my fellow dems speak at the DNC.

But..... I've been feeling pretty under the weather since we got back on Saturday afternoon. Just generally pretty achy, stiff neck, headaches, etc. And the bug bites were driving me insane!

And then three days ago my side started to get really tender to the touch. I had a couple of "stabbing pain in my side episodes" while we were at the beach, so yesterday I finally gave in and went to the doc expecting her to tell me that "yay, once again you have pyelonephritis."

But nooooo. That's not it at all. After waiting for TWO HOURS in the waiting room (because the receptionist wasn't back from lunch and no one else could check me in ::eyeroll::), she ran some tests and told me that nothing was wrong with my kidneys. I mentioned the stupid side pain, and she asked to see. I show her the bug bites on my abdomen, and then she asks to see the ones on my back. I turn around, and she gasps. I roll my eyes and say:

Me: no, no that's just my birthmark (I have a HUGE birthmark that covers my entire back and docs always freak out the first time they see it)

Her: no, I know that's your birthmark. I'm talking about these ::points to what I thought were bug bites on my back::

Me: Yeah, those bug bites suck.

Her: Those aren't bug bites.

Me: Well then what are they?

Her: Let me get the doctor (she's was a CNP)

Me: (internal monologue: what could those be? Am I dying? Dude, she's wrong, those are totally just bug bites)

In walks the doctor.

Doctor: Yep, that's shingles all right.

WTH? Seriously? I have shingles? ::insert stream of curse words here::

So now the right side of my abdomen and back are covered in an itching, burning version of adult chickenpox. *sigh*

The bright side? Apparently once the chickenpox virus reactivates and you get shingles, it's really rare to get it again. So I guess I'm just getting it out of the way early (most people don't get it until their 50s or 60s). And at least I didn't get it the week of my wedding, like one unlucky groom I heard about on the Nest....

Now I'm off to apply some more Benadryl and down some more Advil. Till tomorrow,

~ Heather

And here's what I did with my bar trip...

And here they are. The long-awaited directions for making you're very own fabric covered pocketfold invitations.

As a disclosure, I found the original directions on how to make these here. However, I found the pocketfolders to be a tad small, and I found some easier and less wasteful ways to build the actual folders, so I thought I'd share my way, too.

Enjoy!

p.s. I still have aout 12 yards of black dupioni silk fabric if anyone's interested. *hint* *hint*

Note: I'm going to echo the original designer's (Tanya) warning to test your fabric before you go buying the entire stock you'll need for this project. You'll want something that will stick to your cardstock with adhesive, but that the adhesive won't bleed through. Like she mentions, stretchy fabrics won't work well, and neither will heavy fabrics (i.e. velvets, suedes, etc.). You'll also want to test the fabric with whatever cutting tool you're using to make sure it doesn't fray. To be honest, silk dupioni CAN fray - quite extensively - because of the nature of the interwoven threads. That being said, it looks so entirely awesome when it's finished that I highly recommend it anyway. ;)

Stage One

Determine what size you would like your actual invitation (the part with writing on it) to be; you can then extrapolate from these measurements. When I ordered a sample pocketfolder from www.cardsandpockets.com, I realized that the size of the pocketfolder was 5x7, making the inner invite quite a bit smaller; I wanted our actual invite to be 5"x7". I knew I wanted this larger invite, and I knew I also wanted one layer of backing betweeen the invite and the pocketfolder. So I took the size of the invite, added 1/4" all around for the backing, and 1/4" for space between the backing and the edge of the pocketfolder. To make a pocketfolder for this size invite, the cardstock needed to be 17.975" x 8" (the missing .025 is to make folding easier and make the folds lie flat). This will give you a pocketfolder with the following dimensions I doubled the width on these when I ordered the cardstock so that I could cut two pocketfolders from each piece, meaning fewer cuts and less wasted silk.

Stage Two Order your supplies - see my last post too see exactly what I ordered.

Stage Three Lay your fabric out, and place your cardstock on top of your fabric. I was able to get two sheets of cardstock - or four pocketfolders - per each "row" of fabric (I could have fit three pieces per each row had I turned the last piece on it's side, but then my neurotic brain would have had a fit, because one piece of cardstock would have had the threads from the dupioni going vertically instead of horizontally - use your own judgment as to whether this would annoy you). Cut out your cardstock and silk, leaving at least 1/2 inch between each piece of cardstock, and between the edge of the fabric, like so:


Stage Four

Tanya had it right. If you can do this step outside - do it outside. It WILL be messy. If you can't do it outside for some reason (like you're staying at a beach house and sand is flying everywhere, or you live in a major Metropolitan area (e.g. Manhattan) it can be done inside, but you'll need to do it in a non-carpeted area, and you'll probably still want to have a few old newspapers handy to lay down to soak up the overspray.

You'll want to lay out the fabric near (but not so near as to be contaminated by overspray) your spraying area, and smooth it out as best you can. Then, lay the cardstock on the ground (or newspaper if doing inside) and LIGHTLY mist the cardstock with your adhesive, following the directions on the can. Like Tanya said, "IF YOU CAN SEE THE CARDSTOCK GETTING WET AND DARKENED FROM THE ADHESIVE, YOU'VE USED TOO MUCH." Try to avoid streaking and wet spots - these will just soak through your fabric. The cardstock should just look slightly tacky - in my experience, it developed a *slight* sparkle sheen when it had the right amount of adhesive on it.

Stage Five

Turn your cardstock over, and carefully place it sticky-side down onto your fabric. LIGHTLY tap the cardstock to make sure it sticks, then immediately flip over the fabric and cardstock and smooth everything out. Note: DO NOT try to smooth it out until you flip it over - trial and error told us if you smoothed it out on the cardstock side instead of the side you can cause irremovable wrinkles. If you're doing two pieces of cardstock per piece of fabric, it helps if you smooth from the center of the two pieces to the edges of the fabric. Tanya recommended letting this dry for at least half an hour, and if you have the time to kill, it's probably best. We were trying to power through as many as we could in our short time at the beach, however, and found that fifteen minutes was plenty, especially if you were doing them in batches.

Stage 6

Using your cutting instrument (I used a Fiskars handheld rotary trimmer), cut your cardstock in half, and trim away the excess on the HORIZONTAL edges. While Tanya set things up to cut some of the cardstock away along with the excess fabric, I simply used the metal yardstick lined up against the very edge of the cardstock to cut away nothing but the fabric. This is definitely easier with two people (because of the need to hold the yardstick steady while applying pressure with the cutting instrument), it can be done by one person if you need to.



Youll end up with stacks of cardstock looking something like this (the ones at the bottom):


Notes on this step:

(1) Tanya recommends using an exacto knife because her rotary trimmer was dulling to quickly cutting through fabric and cardstock. I found that the exacto knife "ripped" at the fabric too much, so we switched to the handheld rotary trimmer. And because we were primarily cutting fabric (we only made one cut to each piece of cardstock - to cut the two folders apart), the blade lasted a reasonably long time. When you notice that your fabric isn't cutting cleanly, it's time to change the blade - otherwise the fabric will start to fray.

(2) Tanya also recommends that if you do happen to notice the blade not going all the way through the fabric, to use your scissors to cut them apart to prevent fraying. This is a tip worth saving /repeating. Repeated tries with a dull blade will definitely fray your fabric.

Stage 7

Using your fingertip, spread a *small* amount of your liquid adhesive onto the cut horizontal edges of your pocketfold. As Tanya noted, YOU MUST PERFORM THIS STEP TO KEEP YOUR EDGES FROM FRAYING! The brand of glue that I used really did take about 30 minutes to dry - sometimes longer.

Note: All of my pictures of finger smearing from this part are blurry. BUT I can say that Tanya's way definitely was the best. If you hold the bottle with your thumb and first two fingers, you can smear the glue with your ring finger from the same hand, and keep from covering yourself or your pocketfolds in unwanted glue. It took me a few tries to get to the point where I could comfortably hold the glue while smearing, but once I did, everything went much more quickly.

Also note that if you're doing this step on more than one pocketfolder at a time, you will need to have a place to lay them all out to dry. And you CANNOT stack them on top of each other. You will inevitably get *some* of the glue on either the cardstock side or the silk side, and when you lay one on top of the other, they stick together. We learned this the hard way and had to throw out to otherwise beautiful pocketfolders. :(

Stage 8

Now it's time to cut out the "folder" and "flap" portions of your pocketfold and glue your edges. For our pocketfolders, I used the following measurements:


I had originally planned on using the rotary cutter to cut out the necessary portions, but soon discovered that a round blade doth not cut corners well. ;) Scissors really are your best friend here. Then you'll need to do the same gluing you did on the long (horizontal sides) to your flap and folder:

Note: Your life will be MUCH easier if you make a template first so that you'll have the template pieces for the pocket and flap to trace for each one, instead of measuring each and every single pocketfolder.

Stage 9

Almost there! Now (after letting this new round of glue dry, of course) it's time to fold your pocketfolder. Using the chart above, I drew lines on the cardstock side using a pencil, then scored each of those lines using a ruler and the back side of a common household butter knife, then used the bone folder on the fabric side (gently!) to make the folds as crisp as I could:



Stage 10

I have no idea how I didn't get pictures of this, put the final step in creating your pocketfolder is to create the actual pocket. This is where your adhesive tape comes in useful. I placed strips of tape as shown in the diagram above (the red lines were the adhesive), folded the pocket over and pressed again with the bone folder, and......TA DA!

A "finished" pocketfolder. Of course, I don't have my invites or inserts yet, I haven't glued down the invite backing, and I haven't attached the ribbon or the name card to the ribbon, but here's what they look like in their primal state:

Nifty, eh?

Hope this helped someone else. If so, send me pics. I'll create a lovely DIY gallery of all of our wonderful fabric-covered pocketfolders. :)